You Can't Un-say It!
James 1:19-22 "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires," (verses 19&20) These are good verses to put to memory, and with God's help to practice. If you've never said something you were sorry for then either you're perfect or just not "plugged in"; and I can guarantee you it is not the first choice. So many times, it is: "Why did I have to say that?" We can't un-say it and those who have heard cannot un-hear it. So often we are so busy figuring out what we want to say and how we want to say it that we really are not hearing what the other person is saying at all. We often jump at what we think they said or are going to say before we give them a hearing. Even a child has something to say that is important - listen. Listen to their words - listen to their heart. Are they hurting? Are they angry? Are they lying? Did God call us to do radical "pocket-knife" surgery, or offer the healing balm of Jesus with love and understanding? Yes, there is a time for confrontation with the truth, but not before listening and not without love. We must ask ourselves, "Is my motivation to be right, or to offer healing and/or restoration?" We are also told to be slow to become angry - that it doesn't produce the righteous life that God desires. When we become angry with people, we stop thinking. We move to the destroy, hurt, insult, drive away, escape from mode. Witnessing for Christ is not in the picture at all. Be angry with Satan who has them in bondage, but not the person. Sometimes we need to turn people over to God and listen for His instructions.
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